My Christmas Vacation

So - I suppose you will all have seen my posts from over the Christmas holidays (if not - see me bragging here and here).  My friend and I had booked a full on week in Tenerife from December 19 through December 26!  Christmas on the beach!!  WOO HOO!!!

But then - winter happened in London.  Now it's snowed for the last 3 years here in London.  Coming from way up north in the US it always amazed me that a whole country can shut down with like 3 inches of snow.  But I love having a few snow days off of work because of a dusting of snow.  Well, it isn't so funny when they shut down the airports the day before you are flying away for a warm sunny beach holiday!

I have made a lovely video so you can all feel sorry for me as you watch my sad sad tragedy unfold.


This experience has taught me a valuable lesson about bragging...or something. 

I wish you all the best in the New Year!!!  Thank you for reading my new blog!!!  I love you all :)

Merry Christmas

Hi Again!!  Yup - I am still in Tenerife - and yup - I set this up ahead of time.  I wanted to make sure I wished everyone a Merry Christmas!!  I love you all!!

Hola!!! Vaccaciones!!!

HI!!! I am in Tenerife!! WOO HOO!!! I set this up ahead of time to brag to everyone!!

It is December and I am (should be) laying on the beach in the sun and it is (should be) 70 degrees (23 degrees Celcius)!!

I LOVE GOING AWAY FOR CHRISTMAS!!! Screw going home and wading through 3 feet of snow! I am going to lounge on the beach and party all night and be happy!

(I hope you are jealous!!!)

Christmas Diet

So - I decided to stop working-out the last week before I went on vacation before Christmas. Sure, I am going on a beach holiday...but what the hell?!!? One week not working-out won't kill me right? WRONG!!

The second I stopped working-out I started eating and drinking heavily. So before I was going to bed at 9:00PM so I could wake up abut 5:00AM and go to my workout (Fit For a Princess!! AMAZING).  Now I am going to bed at mid-night after eating for 4 hours and waking up at 7:00AM and then eating some more.

Anyways...so I have been eating and drinking (mostly alone) for nearly a week now.  I feel so bloated I can barely move.  I am super gassy and horrible.  Yet all I can think about all day is eating more!!

WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME!?!  I am going on a beach holiday in 3 days!!!  Good grief...you would think I could have one more week of fucking will-power and then just eat while I am away.  But no - I am ruining it all now by eating and eating and eating.  And its not like I am even pretending to eat healthy food.  I went to the grocery store yesterday and bought a bag of chips and a thing of garlic cheese (mmmm - salty chips and soft garlicky cheese were made for each other).  And today - I decided to go for the cheese selection and the crackers selection.  Oh - and there has been lots of booze...today I decided to have a couple bottles of cider instead of the normal bottle of wine.

I CAN'T WAIT until Christmas is over and I can go back to working out in the mornings.  This whole staying up late thing is bullshit and has completely ruined all my routines and planning.  And its not like I even have a social life - I am sitting in my room watching Grey's Anatomy and eating and eating and eating and eating!!!  AHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

That's me - eating...or rather inhaling my food!!  (PS - I can't draw well to start with but wow, 3D is WAY beyond my capabilities...)

Pathetic

So - the last thing I ever thought I would be is pathetic over a guy.  And I don't even like him that much.  Ok - I like when he comes over because...well, we all like that right?  But he barely speaks English for goodness sake....and while we all love a fling that can't talk - for something that's been happening randomly for like 6 months - talking might be nice.  Or at least making a date more than like 2 hours in advance. Because let's be honest - its mostly a booty call.  If he can't set something up more than 2 hours ahead of time - its a fucking booty call.  But that was ok in the begining.  I have a life - he has a life and once in the while our lives come together.  And shit - he even cooks...so I have gotten a few home cooked meals out of it too.  Can't ask for much more - except it seems that I can.

I have watched my girlfriends pine over guys since I was like 10.  Seriously 1-0!!!  I have never been able to figure it out.  Of course I had my crushes and all that crap.  But to be heartbroken over a guy you met 2 weeks ago...seriously?!!  And no - I am not at that point now.  I am not heartbroken and its been a lot longer than 2 weeks.  But still - I am annoyed and slightly drunk.

He texted me yesterday with the typical 2 hours notice booty call.  But I already had plans (because yes I have a life) so I said maybe tomorrow.  So he said he would let me know because he would have to cancel work (god - he works ALL THE TIME).  Well, its almost 8:00 tomorrow night and I STILL HAVEN'T HEARD FROM HIM!!!  I think I made the mistake of saying I was free Thursday and Friday night as well.  But seriously!!!  I WANT IT NOW!!!  And if it happens now its going to be with the like 15 minutes notice and he'll be at the damn door for a booty call.

So yea - I am pathetic.  I am drinking way too much wine right now - and I am sitting next to my phone.  I am that person I never thought I would be.  And this guy is just a regular guy that I don't even know that much about because we don't really talk.  WTF?!?!  Seriously....what is wrong with me.  I am going to have to make a New Years resolution to meet some more guys.  Because I think its worse that I just feel pathetic....maybe if there were more guys that I was talking to I wouldn't feel so pathetic!!!  BLAH!!!!!

So I made a video....because that makes me happy!!  I like to make pictures!!  Especially pictures of me as a stick person because then I can pretend I am skinny!!  At least there is some silver lining.........where's the rest of the bloody wine?!?!?!

Going Out....

You would think since I am almost 30 - I would have gotten over the whole "drink as much as I can before going out" thing.  But no....apparently I am just the cheapest bastard that ever lived and just need to drink as much as humanly possible before going out - so that I don't have to buy as much when I get to the club.  I actually just searched the house for an empty water bottle so I could sneak stuff on the tube with me...so I could drink alone on the tube before getting to the party...AHHH!!!  When will I ever become an adult and be able to drink responsibly??!?!

(Look - thats me in my little black dress!!!!  WOO HOO!!  It might be the same one as last year, but that's ok!!  More money to spend on drinks, even though I am drinking as much as I can ahead of time.  Damn - I am too cheap to buy new clothes, and too cheap to buy drinks at the bar...moving to London has made me the cheapest person alive!!!)

Cheers everyone!!  Here's to getting home tonight!!!  Fingers Crossed I can....

Love and the Builder

I will admit it - I fell in love with one of the builders that's been at my flat the last few weeks...it didn't happen immediately, but I guess when he is the first man you see every morning when you wake up...its bound to happen.  I mean - that is why people get married right?  You get used to seeing that same person every morning - so you figure, what the hell, might as well marry him....

This didn't end quite like that....

The Troll

Is it sad that I enjoy sitting in my room alone on my computer more than going out with my friends?  I do have friends and opportunities to go out (I promise!!)  But, I can drink just as much (and more cheaply) at home...and I got over drinking alone a long long time ago...back in my audit days when, if I got home before mid-night, I would let myself drink a bottle of wine in celebration...anyways, its also much warmer under my duvet with my heated mattress pad and bottle of wine than it is outside!!!  Brrr!!  Fucking winter! :(  I will blame it on the cold...that's why I want to stay in...and the fact that I don't have to wear clothes when I am home (well, in my bedroom, I doubt my flatmates would enjoy my nakedness as much as I do)...I love being naked....

 

(Really - my boobs are even bigger, but I am pretending I am normal...)

But does that happiness turn into...

(Look - I have 3 boobs....grrrrrr)

The Raccoon

Ok - so here is my first blog entry! Its inspired by a dream I had this morning...and by my boredom at work...and by this f-ing awesome blog I read to alleviate my boredom at work (Hyperbole and a Half!! Great stuff!!). Hmmm...wonder why I wrote f-ing like I am trying to be all polite, but this is my first time so I am a bit shy, I suppose.

So anyways...because I am an accountant - my normal day has a significant lack of creativity ("creative accounting" seems to be frowned upon by people that like to follow the rules). I remember I used to be almost creative when I was young and made these kick-ass comics (well, I thought they were kick-ass, but I was like 12 and because they hinted at sex of course they were cool)! But seeing Allie's blog (have I mentioned how awesome it is) I was inspired to go back to my roots as an artist.

FYI - this is also being handwritten while at work so it makes me look like I am very very busy - while really I am sitting at my desk writing my blog!!  Muah ha ha ha....

Me Killing 2 Birds with 1 Stone...in case you didn't get that from the artwork

Ok...so now I'll get to the point (ie. I just got sidetracked and totally forgot what I was talking about so I'll start over and get to where I wanted this to go to start with...)

Hopefully that's self-explanatory (ie. train of thought, in case it wasn't)??

SO - my dream inspired it all - and made me really pissed at my friend Nick. Its amazing how dreams can make me feel like those people really did something shitty to me. I woke up this morning truly angry and sent Nick and email telling him how we weren't friends anymore because he was mean to me!! I'm sure you'll agree when you see this:

There - that's the end of my first blog!!  I hope it was as enjoyable for you as it was for me :)  I feel heaps better getting that out in the open!!  And it took up a lot of my afternoon at work writing this all out!  And entertained me all evening because its too damn cold to go outside!!

Thanks for reading this!!  I hope you didn't hate it!!  If you did don't tell me!!
xxx